


All I See

by quicksilvermalec, quicksilverstucky (quicksilvermalec)



Series: Stucky Oneshots [7]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, POV First Person, Songfic, ambiguous pov, not graphic tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-03-06 01:15:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18840643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quicksilvermalec/pseuds/quicksilvermalec, https://archiveofourown.org/users/quicksilvermalec/pseuds/quicksilverstucky
Summary: Everything was silent, as if the world, sharing my pain, had gone still, mourning this beautiful man. As if everything was in slow motion.





	All I See

Gone.

That was all I could think.

Gone.

I was never going to see him again.

Gone.

The world would be deprived of his smile.

Gone.

I would be deprived of his laugh for the rest of my life.

Gone.

Everything was silent, as if the world, sharing my pain, had gone still, mourning this beautiful man. As if everything was in slow motion.

I found his weapon, and my own, and strode with purpose down the long stretch of scorched earth.

_It’s down to me and you_

I raised the gun in my right hand and leveled it at the monster before me.

_And this cold and empty room_

And he stood there and laughed.

_Forgotten what we’re dying for_

He was dead. He was dead and gone and this wasn’t going to bring him back but holy hell without him here to stop me I was going to destroy this monster so that he may feel my anguish, or I was going to die trying. At least I could join my husband.

_Just tell me what to say_

I had no words for the creature in front of me, so I just spat at his feet.

_Just tell me what to change_

I wanted everything to be different. I wanted him to live, I wanted him not to be in danger, and I wanted not to have to fight this fucking monster.

_‘Cause I can’t take it anymore_

I wanted to kill everyone who opposed me, everyone who had ever harmed him, and I wanted to crush this giant eggplant-headed thing under my thumb.

And then I wanted to die.

Without him, my life wasn’t worth anything. He had been my whole world for longer than I could remember.

Every step reminded me painfully of his body, lying broken on the ground behind me, and every breath reminded me of the pure anger coursing through my veins.

He. Killed. My. Steve.

He was going to pay, a thousand times over.

He was going to lose it all, just like I did.

He was going to feel the burn.

_But why are we so incomplete?_

I felt empty, without Steve’s constant presence, like when that bullet went through the blond’s body it had also blown a hole straight through me.

Like he was a part of me.

And he was, in so many ways.

_It’s down to me and you_

The memories of all of my time with him flashed through my head.

Every moment we’d laughed.

Every second we’d cried.

Every minute of every hour of every day that I had loved this blond.

Millions upon billions of hours.

My whole life.

_In this cold and empty street_

I thought of all the times when I had found my little punk in an alley or an abandoned parking lot or whatever, getting his lights punched out, every time I’d saved him, every time I’d made sure that he knew I would always save him.

How far had I fallen that I couldn’t keep my promise this time?

_Forgotten what we’re living for_

I had nothing else to live for other than that little blond punk who had just bled out in my arms.

I had no reason to keep going.

I had no attachments, so I might as well take down as many villains as I could before the end.

Including Thanos.

_Just tell me what is right_

I didn’t care if vengeance wasn’t going to get me anywhere.

I was long since out of fucks to give.

I was not going to stand by and watch as my husband’s killer took over the Earth.

He needed to be stopped anyway. _We_ needed to stop him.

So here we were. Stopping him. Keeping the Earth safe. And once we were done, Steve and I would both be dead.

I would make sure of that.

_It’s more than what’s inside_

I was crying now as I started to speed up a little, taking longer strides along this empty plain.

My gun was still pointed right at the center of Thanos’ brain.

I was nothing. I wasn’t important. Nobody living still cared about me. I could die.

I was expendable.

I was just the Winter Soldier. I was ruthless, heartless, and cruel.

I needed to bring that side out.

_'Cause I can’t see it anymore_

After losing Steve, my morals were definitely skewed.

I won’t deny that.

But it didn’t really matter to me.

I couldn’t find the goodness inside of me. It might have been there. It might not.

Either way, I had no mercy for this being that had taken my love from me.

I was going to kill him.

_All I see are kings and thieves_

There was nothing important anymore.

There was nothing that mattered.

There was life with Steve, and then there was death.

There was no middle-ground.

I can’t live without Steve, and I can’t live knowing that I could have saved him, and I didn’t.

I would always blame myself.

So instead, I was going to join him.

_When all I own is just dust and gold_

I had one job.

Protect Stevie.

It was my mission.

Stevie was gold.

Everything else was ashes, unimportant, unattractive in the face of the brilliant sun that was my Stevie.

_Don’t let go yet_  
_Don’t settle for less_  
_Than everything you are_

_Why are we so incomplete?_

_When all I own is just_  
_Just dust and gold_  
_When all I see are kings and thieves_  
_When all I own is just dust and gold_

Everything I had been working for my whole life… up in smoke.

Fuck it all.

I was going to take down that big bad motherfucking eggplant.

He would taste my steel.

As I came to a stop about fifty yards from him, still pointing my pistol at his head, he just laughed.

I don’t think he expected me to shoot. The difference between him and me was that I was desperate, scared, and pissed the fuck off.

I took the shot.

And it went right through his head.

He fell backwards slowly, his ghost of a laugh etched on his face forever, the echo still hanging in the air.


End file.
